“A child deserves a mother and a father”
The above statement is now the preferred term when arguing against gay marriage. It’s the go-to statement for lobbyists/ activists that fear backlash and reprisal. ‘I’m not prejudice, I’m only thinking of the children’. Well, isn’t that nice. You’re thinking of the children like any honorable citizen would. You’re often a member of a religiously affiliated organization, but you’re untouchable now that a child’s wellbeing is your main objective.
Of course, as we all know, gay wedding ceremonies double as transition ceremonies whereby one of the grooms/ brides to be spontaneously grows the reproductive organs of the opposite sex in order to fall pregnant during their same-sex engagement. The groom or bride does retain the form of their original gender as to not alter the definition of their same-sex marital status, and soon gives rise to the inevitable event that happens with every marriage: childbirth. Because if they didn’t, their commitment would be deemed null and void and essentially pointless. Marriage after menopause? Pointless. Remarriage after the kids have left the nest? Pointless. Marriage where neither party wants children? Pointless. Marriage between two or more infertile peoples? Pointless. Marriage between two people of the same sex? You got it, pointless.
So what is marriage? Is it a commitment between a man and a woman? Is it a commitment between two people? Is it a commitment between one man and multiple women? Is it the commitment between one man and one child bride? Or is it the commitment between one woman and multiple men?
LOL, you obviously knew I was joking about that last option. What a joke that would be. That shit ain’t legal anywhere, including the polygamous African and Middle Eastern regions of the planet (three cheers for the everlasting double-standards of the human race). Anyway, my point is that marriage differs and is as much a cultural practice as it is a legal one. It’s a celebration of commitment to one’s spouse(s) that’s ultimately ratified by the government. Emphasis on the word ‘government’, not church, government. And if you’re a citizen of a democratic nation, they work for you and uphold your rights (or are meant to).
But that begs the question: is marriage a gay right? It hasn’t been recognized in the past, nowhere in modern history was same-sex marriage ‘a thing’ until 2003 when the Netherlands became the first country in the world to legalize it, Belgium next. So how can gays be so arrogant as to assume the longstanding tradition between a man and a woman extends to them? In my opinion, sexual orientation. Marriage is hard enough as it is if divorce rates are any indication, so why complicate if further by marrying someone who’s not interested? Because a society that doesn’t approve of nor recognize the LGBT community is a society where the LGBT community is forced into hiding, and while in hiding, they will marry those of the opposite sex and, in many cases, lead a double life. That in itself directly damages society. Also, for much of modern history, people didn’t get it. Homosexuality was a deviance and ultimately a choice. Same-sex marriage didn’t exist because society was ignorant and in the dark ages of understanding. Marriage is steeped in heterosexual tradition for that very reason: selfish ignorance.
With all those obvious points out of the way (obvious to the Netherlands, Belgium, South Africa, New Zealand, Canada, etc), here’s another: Some will always believe that gay people don’t make good parents, but I know they can, and I intend to be one despite the legality of my marital status. A wedding ring doesn’t dictate the function of my reproductive organs nor does the government dictate my reproductive rights. There are multiple studies on the children of gay families that prove time and time again that they’re just as well-adjusted and psychologically healthy as those of traditional families if given the chance, so the anti-equality bandwagon are going to have to find another weapon in their arsenal. Because if they truly care about the wellbeing of children, tackle the ice epidemic or start on a minority group who, statistics-wise, nurture a worse environment than gay people have ever shown to provide (African American, Australian Aboriginal, the poor and single-parent households, for example. Not very PC to mention, but if child welfare is their paramount, best start at the bottom and work their way up).
Believe it or not, I was a kid once. In fact, most of the LGBT community were. And for many of us, this hostile and negative environment really harmed our wellbeing and psychological health, which probably accounts for the disparity in suicide rates between us and our hetero peers (aka, friends and family). I know I would’ve loved to have been exposed to an LGBT-friendly environment, but was instead exposed to the onslaught of heterosexuality. Funny that I still turned out gay despite society’s best efforts to make sure I didn’t, which—to me—appears to be the anti-gay bandwagon’s ultimate objective.
For some, life-long monogamy is an impossible achievement. But that doesn’t make it any less wonderful, so it should be legal for those who choose to make it their goal, which—for a community still reeling from the HIV epidemic—can only be a good thing.
The LGBT community transcends all races, economic classes, cultural divides and borders, proving itself to be a product of mankind, NOT the Western World. And if the government wants to ratify monogamous commitment, it should be a right all citizens can strive for. So let’s cut the lies and deception and foster a society where straight women don’t fall victim to doomed marriages, where straight men aren’t with women who can’t stand the thought of being with them, and where a gay person can feel safe and comfortable enough to be honest with themselves and therefore more able to commit to a relationship they’re biologically primed for.
“Civil partnership” is not a good compromise. It’s a bureaucratic bitch-slap completely devoid of romance and reeking of the same double-standard bullshit that plagues the human race. And given the multitude of evidence proving the capability of same-sex parents, the fact LGBT persons pay tax and the fact gay marriage will help tackle the issue of infidelity by fostering an environment in which people marry for the right reasons instead of social expectation, same-sex marriage is a right that everyone should be entitled to. Children just aren’t a good enough reason to deny it, especially when children aren’t even the envisioned future for many of those in the LGBT community seeking to wed.
(I intend to make a blog post entirely devoted to LGBT parenting covering all sides of the argument, including my own personal misgivings at the thought of raising a child as a gay man. So make sure to subscribe if you wish to be notified of new blog posts)